Tears, Cheers and HOPE

First of all, an update on my ‘grand-dog’, Walker may have a little “cat” in him – as in nine lives. He had his first chemotherapy last Thursday, tolerated it well, and Betsy is encouraged. The vet says this series of several chemos could mean another year or so of life without pain. If you are not a dog-lover, please stop reading now. You will think we are all nuts at my house.

If you are a dog-lover, read on. You understand.

Have you ever run across the bumper sticker that says, “Oh, Lord, help me be the person my dog thinks I am.” Well, it is not sacrilegious. You have to have been loved by a dog to appreciate the truth in those words.

I, for one, think God can use anything and anyone to teach us lessons that go deep into our souls. When it comes to love in a completely pure way…as one dog-lover to another (since all non-dog-lovers stopped reading at end of sentence #5) does this or does this not make sense? I think most of God’s most profound points He really wants us to grasp during our temporary tenure here on earth involve simple truths – like it feels really good to love and be loved back.

My dog, Daisy, affectionately called the “chemotherapy dog” (the one BETSY found at Corgi Rescue to help me through the chemotherapy I never had) sits beside me when I cry…and I think I mentioned in the magazine recently that I long ago perfected the art of crying. There’s good crying and bad crying. I am a master of both.

You know – sunrises, sunsets…music…good cry. Death, heartbreak…bad cry.

A lot of my crying in this era of life involves being overwhelmed by “the list” of self-imposed “shoulds” and “oughts.” I never seem to complete those guilt inducing categories in any given day, and it is frustrating. I keep getting interrupted by life. Even so, there is some lingering something inside me that bases my worth on how many things I can successfully check off the list of “TO DO TODAY.”

But to come home at night, feeling incredibly inadequate because I failed to get through “the list” and find Daisy waiting at the back door helps me let go of the wounds the day has inflicted!

I read something recently that said when it comes to “balance’ and “time management” Jesus was probably one of the worst ever at planning out the day and having everything fall into place…..”Let’s see from 9 to 10 I will heal the lepers. From 10 – 11 , I will heal the blind…etc. etc. “

He kept getting interrupted by life and crowds and unanticipated “stuff.” I know, I know. If He was God the Son, he knew ahead of time there would be detours, but I think he felt like he had to walk through those doors just to show us how to do it, too – how to let the list go at times and focus on the moment, the needs around us, and just be there.

Life is not a big circle that can be divided into equal parts so that we are balanced people. A big circle divided perfectly would work great if it were not for…real life.

I am thinking I might prefer passion over balance any day…just let me have passion for the things that are God’s passion . Passion seems closer to abundant living than being a bean counter or a list checker…you think?