A Peace of Me

December 3, 2009

It is barely three weeks until Christmas. I have had my usual overwhelmed breakdown moments. With magazine deadlines, the normal Christmas fanfare and a few extra events here and there, I have been part Grinch and part Scrooge – feeling at times like the tears were so close to the surface that I might cry in the line at the dry cleaners or the grocery store. Do you have moments or maybe whole seasons of life when you feel that way? It is pretty telling when the Christian magazine lady gets really bent out of shape over the whole celebration of Jesus’ birth. Anyone reading this is probably aghast.

But I am writing this blog anyway. I have stopped being surprised by my depravity or my sin. As though I am in a stage play, I can put on my best “Christian” smile and speak my best “Christianese” while the person inside my heart is someone else altogether. I feel better already by just confessing that to you.

Yesterday afternoon I did something I haven’t done lately. I delivered magazines. When I began publishing six years ago, delivery was one of my regular duties, but over time I have been blessed to hire others to do that for me. This month we were pressed to get them out quickly and it was necessary for all of us to pitch in.

The temperature was hovering around 40 degrees, and I popped in a CD mix of Christmas favorites a friend had given me. And then something really special happened. The words to Sandy Patty’s Child of Peace wrapped themselves around my heart and good tears – happy tears – began to flow.

There was something about the lyrics and the description of peace that brought me out of the haze I seemed to have been living in lately. In a world where the news is so often about war – the war on terror, the war in Iraq, the war in Afghanistan, etc. we think of peace in just one context - as the absence of weapons and the visible devastation we see constantly on the evening news.

But the peace I was reminded of yesterday in the words of that song was a different peace. It was a yearning, longing, soul-filled sense that words can’t describe, but my heart called to remembrance. The peace of Christ…His peace in me.

“Peace I leave with you…my peace I give you…” John 14:27

Real Life

I saw someone at Mistletoe Marketplace the other night who reminded me I have been terrible at blogging lately. Well, I have a million excuses and they are all really good. In between our home makeover, which continues to this day, we have two children and three grandchildren who have fall birthdays. We spend a lot of time traveling north on I-55 between October and December attending the social galas of two, three, and four-year-olds. It is most enlightening and something we would not miss for the world.


This past weekend Bennett turned two. As the youngest (but not for long) of the Tinnin connection, he was thrilled to be front and center stage. The day at the park was pretty chilly, and we adults felt like Eskimos. Only those who were less than three feet tall seemed not to mind. The children who arrived bundled and covered, wasted little time shedding their coats and heading for the swings, the slide, and everything in sight that could be climbed on – whether it was a ladder, a fence, or a tree stump! They were oblivious to the temperature.

I always learn something from my grandchildren. Last week it was about focus and living in the moment. Bennett and his guests did not let the temperature distract them from their task which was, of course, to have a grand time and to eat as much birthday cake as they could possibly stuff in their little tummies.

As we approach Thanksgiving and Christmas, my hope and prayer for all of us is that we refuse to let the minor irritations, the time pressures, money pressures, and unexpected inconveniences rob us of meaningful moments with each other and with our Lord. May our moments of worship be just that – real worship and real intimacy with Him.

! Under Construction !

Sorry for the mess - Marilyn's life is under construction...


September 2, 2008

I know it doesn’t look like it from these pictures, but Charles and I are simplifying our lives. I keep praying that when I arrive at “Simple,” it doesn’t look a thing like these pictures.

Many of you know that when Charles and I said, “I do” last December 29, we decided we would figure out our living arrangements later. We each had a house to sell first. Then there came to pass this unpleasant real estate market which has kept us living like gypsies between houses for the past eight months. When mine sold and the buyer said something about being out in five days, I said, “No problem.” That is not the first time in my life I spoke without thinking. We had just started a remodeling project on his house two days earlier.

In the middle of sheetrock dust, wet paint and furniture stacked on furniture, we are climbing over all these boxes labeled with five children’s names, our names and generic categories like “Storage,” “Goodwill,” “Consignment,” and even “Need Advice with this one.” It occurs to me that we are actually staring at three-plus decades of life before each other. It has been almost like a history lesson for both of us as we have sorted through old photos, books, or personal treasures. Almost every item has a story, and – yes – we always stop to share them.

There have been some hard decisions on what to keep and what to let go. I have stared at some things for hours unable to make a decision. At the same time, I have suddenly been willing to part with things that I have moved from place to place or closet to closet for decades thinking I could never let them go. There is a spiritual lesson in this, believe it or not.

I have thought of the verse in Ecclesiastes through all of this, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.” I’ve also thought long and hard about God’s timing – it makes all the difference in the freedom of letting some things go.

Stay tuned – you are viewing the “before.” Wait till you see the after!

Reformed and Relaxed

August 1, 2008

I have found my new exercise regimen – went to my first Reformer Pilates class today at The Pilates Studio in Ridgeland. (I love the word “reformer.” Most of us could use some “reformation” from time to time.) Pilates, it seems, is about the fastest growing phenomenon in fitness today – having grown from 2000 participants to 10.6 million in just six years. Everybody who knows me knows that exercise is right up there with root canals and colonoscopies on my short list of dreaded experiences.

Christi, Kari, and I had a great work-out with instructor Kimberly. It was definitely real exercise, but when it was over, I was relaxed as well as energized. I had just realized a few weeks ago that busy gyms with blinking television sets, music, and noise were no longer comfortable to me. I also felt like my attention span was shrinking as the speed of life increased. At any rate, I have been deliberately trying to find a slower pace of life. I have even temporarily given up “Good Morning America” and “Fox News.” I just love it when something “clicks.” Pilates “clicked.” I am going to go back again soon, and I recommend it to you highly.

I have really slowed down my contact with technology in the last couple of weeks, and it has helped everything about me feel a lot better. I notice that it is easier to sense God’s presence and to hear His voice. It is as though I just got a new contact lens prescription!

If the thought of “technology abstinence….or slow withdrawal” appeals to you, try out these books. Great reads!

Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives by Richard A. Swenson

The Overload Syndrome: Learning to Live Within Your Limits by Richard A. Swenson and Richard A. Swenson M.D.

It All Goes Back in the Box

July 18, 2008

I’ve been literally engrossed in John Ortberg’s book, The Life You’ve Always Wanted. He can tell a story like nobody else. His is the often used anecdote about the grandson who desired more than anything to beat his grandmother at the game of Monopoly. It seems Grandma was the champ of champs. The grandson all but took a graduate level course in Monopoly Maneuvers to accomplish the feat, and the day came when he left Poor Grandma penniless and stripped of her real estate holdings. Grandma congratulated him on the mastery of the game, then told him he had one last lesson to learn – the one that mattered most.

“When the game is over, it all goes back in the box.” He knew immediately the message was about more than Monopoly. At the end of life, we leave behind all the worldly possessions we have spent our efforts and lives accumulating. Such a thought can make an afternoon fishing with a grandson or a cup of coffee with a friend or time spent building a relationship suddenly seem like the real priority of the day. So I tend to be a Martha at times, too – but I’m trying not to be.

The Ortberg book I am now reading spends several chapters talking about the spiritual disciplines of things we may not always think of as “disciplines.” - like slowing down, celebrating life, discovering real joy, practicing real and meaningful prayer, receiving guidance from the Holy Spirit. I think I read the “joy” chapter twice because I saw the concept in a whole new way. Joy is part of God’s character and heart. C.S. Lewis said, “Joy is the serious business of heaven.”


I had written in my July letter from the editor about my recent plague of anxiety, and I really did cling to the joy chapter as though there were some secret formula there that would cure my anxiety. I have so wanted to not be anxious anymore because anxiety steals my joy. It prevents me from living in the moment – and life gives an abundance of rich moments to just be still and enjoy.

I had just read the chapter on joy a few days before Charles and I took a day trip to Hernando and Memphis to visit children and grandchildren. Late in the afternoon, the weather was unseasonably cool for July. We were sitting under the trees in daughter Natalie’s backyard watching grandson Evan play. Evan is almost three and he was simply born happy.

That afternoon, however, he was even happier than usual. He was like a motorized energized wind-up toy as he ran from swings to sandbox to tree house to tool bench to riding toy. About every thirty seconds he turned to shout, “Papa, Papa, watch me!” Where ever he was and whatever he was doing, he wanted to be sure his grandfather was attentive and pleased with his accomplishments. My first thoughts were, “This is what joy is supposed to look like for all of us. Free, content, and delighting in the sheer presence and relationship with our Heavenly Father.

Evan has not lived long enough to develop a few lasting scars from inevitable hurts that will come someday – as they do to most human beings. Something about those bumps in the road steal a little of our joy – but they should not steal it permanently or cause us to forget the reality of those early moments when we knew the Father was watching and delighting in the relationship we shared together.

Watching Evan that afternoon, however, made my own heart a little lighter and little freer and a little more joyful to simply be alive. I was reminded of Jesus’ words about the little children. “Of such is the kingdom of God.” I realized “real” joy can happen when we pay attention to the amazing gift that is called life and the very simple and special blessing of sharing it with those we love. Jesus did say, “A little child shall lead them.”

Evan taught me that life ought not be so complicated.

Cancer, Clutter and Culture

Charles and I spent last weekend in Birmingham. I passed my two year cancer-free check up with flying colors. I do not have to see my oncologist again for six months. There is always a LOT of anxiety connected with that appointment. I am wondering if everyone who has ever had cancer feels that way when the check up rolls around. I would love to hear your thoughts on that. I just want to be here for a LOT longer to enjoy life and love and….grandchildren. We have a lot of them and are expecting to add two more to the group in the next couple of months.

I remember the day my daddy died and while our family huddled in a room close to intensive care, my pastor made the comment that it really didn’t matter what the chart or the statistics said. God has our names engraved on the palms of His hands, He has a future and a hope for each of us. Even when the doctor came in and announced in clinical terms that my dad had died, I held on to the words of my pastor. It was not as much about what any doctor did or did not do – Ultimately, it is God who determines the number of our days.

While in Birmingham we spent some time with Betsy who writes our Single Still, Single Again column. She is my daughter who – let me tell you – did not know coat hangers existed for the first two decades of her life. She just bought her first house, and it is about as cute as anything could possibly be, but her sudden path to neatness and cleanliness was a bit startling to the mother who used to love to send her to summer camp just so I could clean out her room. Kind of an affirmation of God’s idea of the “making all things new” idea.

The July issue of MCL went to print Wednesday. You should see them everywhere by now. This is one of my favorites. You will find a LOT of heart-to-heart stories. I want to put in a special plug for Martin Willoughby’s column on media and culture. I did not realize what a deal Sex and the City was until I saw posters advertising the movie all over Paris during my recent trip.

When I got home, I tuned in to my “tell-me-what’s-happening” source, Good Morning America, and found out that this television series that prompted the movie had shaped the decisions of many a young teen during its hay day. What are we thinking?

I won’t even begin to tell you what I thought when I tuned in to The Bachelor for the final episodes last season. I wanted to know what it was all about. I then determined I must be way too old to “get it’ at all. The whole concept seems to be at odds with everything women - and especially the most liberal of all – have worked to accomplish over the past few decades.

So, do you think we need to watch and pay attention just to know what is happening in our culture – or do you think we Christians should not notice at all? I have just recently heard a series of sermons from Philippians and I wonder at the verse in the 4th chapter that speaks about directing our thoughts to “whatever is pure, lovely, admirable….we don’t have to go any further than the “pure” word...our culture presents some real challenges in finding the balance.

Would LOVE your thoughts on the subject.

Marilyn's Trip to Paris!

Charles and I are just back from ten days in France. I actually have two CD’s full of photos, but I pulled just a few to share with you. From that first sun-rise glimpse on the morning we landed through the post-card perfect countryside of Provence and the sights and sounds of Paris, I took it all in.

I used to just hate it when enthusiastic friends came back from a vacation with an album filled with pictures of museums, relics, and random sights that I could not fully appreciate.

I always wanted to ask why they didn’t take pictures of people. And here I am doing exactly that!

I have to laugh at the different way Charles and I approach our picture taking. I’m thinking, “Take my picture in front of the Eiffel Tower,” and he is thinking, “Move over. I am trying to take a picture.”

I kept a journal of my trip. I don’t know if anyone except moi will ever want to read it – but I will enjoy reading and remembering it for a long time. I can honestly say that the neatest thing about the last ten days was that I did not “hurry” through even one second. Everyday was filled with “living in the moment” and being completely surrounded by beautiful sights, friendly people, and my favorite companion…and my cup runneth over!

It was good to walk out and leave things in the capable hands of Kari and Christi. The June issue is looking good, thanks to them. It should be on the streets by the end of next week.

Marilyn's Trip to Colorado

Why is it everything looks so desperate in the middle of the night? I have been out of the office for a week and will be gone all next week. I don’t think of myself as a controlling person until I have to walk out the door of this magazine and leave the decision making to someone else.

I woke up at 3:00 this morning worrying – yep – worrying. I do that best at 3:00 am. After I tie myself in knots, I usually begin to search the files in my brain for scripture verses that remind me how futile and unproductive it is to worry. This morning I began to think about Matthew 6: 27 that says, “Who of you, by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” The passage goes on to remind us of the lilies of the field, of God’s ability to give us just what we need.

Whenever a scripture I’ve heard my whole life comes to me at the moment I need it most, I have a little nostalgic and special burst of gratitude for the people in my life who taught me to love and believe the Word. It comforts again and again and forever reminds me that I am never alone in any situation.

I finally got back to sleep, and when I turned on my computer this morning, I had a daily devotional that Tim Smith of Holy Trinity Anglican Church sends. The verse today was I Peter 5:7 – “Cast all your anxiety on Him, for He cares for you.” One more little daily God-thing – He reassured me a second time within a few hours that I have no reason to worry. That was just so GOD-like!

I can’t help posting a few new pictures of my grandchildren. I am just back from a week of babysitting. The one thing that stands out in my mind is this: Reasoning with a three year old is like the proverbial attempt to nail jello to the wall. I lost.

On the way out to Denver, I took my new book by friend and hero, Barbara Crespino – Living on the Edge. I read the whole book on the plane. I had put some of my favorite praise and worship tunes on my ipod – so reading Barbara’s inspirational perspective with Shout to the Lord ringing in my ears was a real mountain top experience. The neat thing about reading Barbara’s book is it is as therapeutic as a visit with her. I am so glad she put this together – when you read her prayers or her blogs – you want to know God the same way she does. You also want to love life with the same contagious joy. Let me know if you’d like to get a copy. I will tell you how.

Christi, our associate editor tells me blogs have to be short. She will probably tell me this is too long – I will try to get better at this. Tell me what you think so far. I love to hear from you readers!

We're Blogging!

Welcome to the Metro Christian Living Blog.  Marilyn actually came to me and said in a hushed voice, "I think I want to blog."  I looked at her with raised eyebrows and intrigue.  So here you have the MCL Blog!

We hope you will enjoy this fun new feature to Metro Christian Living.  The blog will provide short stories and photos from our lives, favorite recipes, feel good book reviews, ideas for life, and a look into the daily ins and outs of putting together a magazine every month - all with idea of bringing glory to God.

Please share you thoughts, ideas, recipes, or favorite scriptures. 

Marilyn will be posting weekly.  Be looking for photos and stories from her upcoming trips to Denver and Paris!  

So add this blog to your favorites and join the fun..Marilyn is Blogging (yes, you read that right).