Lilies of the Field

It is a rainy day – I used to call these pajama days. When I first started a magazine, one of my goals was to find a job that allowed me to stay home, wear my pajamas, play the piano, write, and…talk to my dog. And I did for the first five years till things spilled over to the kitchen table, the dining room table, the guest room and the garage. I finally had to rent office space. I still grieve for my pajama days.

My adult life has been, for the most part, filled with unexpected detours. I tell audiences when I speak that “This is not the life I signed up for.” (forgive the dangling preposition). Very few things in life have happened according to my plans, but the constant has been God’s faithfulness in spite of all my fears.

The present state of the world and its effect on business, money, and all the ways our daily lives are used to functioning has had me in a new battle with fear and faith.
In my quiet time this morning I read the Sermon on the Mount. Nothing I had not read a million times before, but how is it that we can read a passage over and over, say we believe and trust our heavenly Father to supply all of our needs…and then panic because we just cannot stand to not have control or at least not have a typed out action plan personally delivered via the Holy Spirit.

It seems our journeys are filled with seasons of starting over and learning and relearning the same lessons. I am grateful today for God’s great patience with me.
I was on my way out of the house this morning when I ran into this scene – Daisy and Thurber. They do not look stressed or worried over the state of the world. There is no doubt in their minds that Charles and I will take care of them tomorrow as certainly as we have taken care of them today.

I want to inscribe these words from Matthew 6 on my brain and plant them deeply in my heart:

“Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? 31Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? 32(For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. 33But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. 34Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself."

Over-Came

Alexander has always been a child after my own heart. You remember him. I am talking about Alexander, the five or six-year-old protagonist of Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

There are still a lot of days when I feel as though I, too, woke up with chewing gum in my hair, and chewing gum in the hair was the best part. The day went downhill rapidly from that point on. This past month was filled with Alexander kind of days. If anybody believes in spiritual warfare, I do.

We had unscheduled surgical procedures for family members, computer viruses, computer crashes, Blackberry crashes, and a shipper who was four days late delivering our March magazine. He put a whole new spin on the concept of “customer service” when he arrived at the storage unit, called me before 8 am and told me I needed to get over there to “help” him unload the magazines. Excuse me. We pay his employer well for “shipping.”
Anyhow, Kari and I managed to move 22,000 magazines from the driveway to the storage unit in about an hour and a half. Kari’s only comment amid my grumbling was, “Well. At least it is not raining.” You have to love her attitude. She is forever the sweet one with the “Winnie the Pooh” outlook balancing my Eeyore kind of outlook on life.

over∙whelm – to overpower - I am frequently overhwhelmed by the glitches and the things I can’t control.

Over∙come – to prevail (I think prevailing is very Biblical)

I finally remembered after a nervous breakdown or two exactly who is in charge of the magazine and that He has overcome the world. I decided to let Him have it. Things got a lot better after that.
I thought I would show you my most recent pics of my Denver grandchildren. I am headed to see them next weekend. Even though every muscle and joint in my body will ache by the time I head home, it is so worth it to spend a few days in their world.

Allie is almost four and Charlotte is almost one. They are awaiting a new baby brother who is scheduled to arrive in May. Allie is a typical first child. She worries about everything. Charlotte is the typical second child. She doesn’t worry about anything since Allie will worry for her.
I just love being a grandmother. Baby Boy Smith will increase my tribe to eight.

Love and Laughter

A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.

I just had lunch with my childhood friend, Ellen. We have been through baby dolls, Barbie dolls, boyfriends, marriage, babies, children, teenagers, and now grandchildren together. I think we have been able to read each other’s minds long before we were even first graders.
Here as we turn the corner on middle age, we still consider our visits “therapy” more than anything else. I cannot think of a thing I could confess to Ellen that would shock her or make her love me any less. She always calls me her touch-tone. I was really down about several things over the past couple of weeks, but I came away from lunch with Ellen feeling as though I had left the big fat elephant that had been standing on my chest behind. You know that feeling?
She brought me a funny birthday card with Lucy and Ethel on the front, and it sings in the off-key awful way that only Lucy Ricardo and Ethel Mertz could, “Friendship – friendship – just a perfect blendship.” Of course it is silly as can be and we sat in Bravo giggling like we were fifteen instead of fifty-eight! The front of the card says, “The smile of a friend is better than chocolate.”
My focus the last few days had been on so many negatives in my life coupled with worry (I know it’s a sin, I know…I know) about many things beyond my control. Just a silly card and the face to face conversation with my oldest and dearest friend, and life just feels better all over. A real visit beats e-mail everytime.
A merry heart doeth good like a medicine. Proverbs 15:13.
Laughter is such a Godly thing. I have to tell you one more thing that is bound to make you smile. This past weekend Charles was visiting with our four-year-old granddaughter, Katie. She has blonde curls and blue eyes like her mother. Charles’ once had a head of thick black hair, but it disappeared long before we met. As Katie began to tell him about one of her favorite cartoon friends, she described in great detail the character’s appearance. She was quite serious when she included in the description, “And, Papa, his head is growing through the top of his hair just like yours.”
It was really hard not to dissolve in laughter right there.
The economy is terrible, but laughter is free…and it’s good for your soul and your spirit and your body. So, please, Lord, help us all do more of it every day!
And thank you, Lord, extra specially for the parts of us that reflect your love to those around us.

A Peace of Me

December 3, 2009

It is barely three weeks until Christmas. I have had my usual overwhelmed breakdown moments. With magazine deadlines, the normal Christmas fanfare and a few extra events here and there, I have been part Grinch and part Scrooge – feeling at times like the tears were so close to the surface that I might cry in the line at the dry cleaners or the grocery store. Do you have moments or maybe whole seasons of life when you feel that way? It is pretty telling when the Christian magazine lady gets really bent out of shape over the whole celebration of Jesus’ birth. Anyone reading this is probably aghast.

But I am writing this blog anyway. I have stopped being surprised by my depravity or my sin. As though I am in a stage play, I can put on my best “Christian” smile and speak my best “Christianese” while the person inside my heart is someone else altogether. I feel better already by just confessing that to you.

Yesterday afternoon I did something I haven’t done lately. I delivered magazines. When I began publishing six years ago, delivery was one of my regular duties, but over time I have been blessed to hire others to do that for me. This month we were pressed to get them out quickly and it was necessary for all of us to pitch in.

The temperature was hovering around 40 degrees, and I popped in a CD mix of Christmas favorites a friend had given me. And then something really special happened. The words to Sandy Patty’s Child of Peace wrapped themselves around my heart and good tears – happy tears – began to flow.

There was something about the lyrics and the description of peace that brought me out of the haze I seemed to have been living in lately. In a world where the news is so often about war – the war on terror, the war in Iraq, the war in Afghanistan, etc. we think of peace in just one context - as the absence of weapons and the visible devastation we see constantly on the evening news.

But the peace I was reminded of yesterday in the words of that song was a different peace. It was a yearning, longing, soul-filled sense that words can’t describe, but my heart called to remembrance. The peace of Christ…His peace in me.

“Peace I leave with you…my peace I give you…” John 14:27

Real Life

I saw someone at Mistletoe Marketplace the other night who reminded me I have been terrible at blogging lately. Well, I have a million excuses and they are all really good. In between our home makeover, which continues to this day, we have two children and three grandchildren who have fall birthdays. We spend a lot of time traveling north on I-55 between October and December attending the social galas of two, three, and four-year-olds. It is most enlightening and something we would not miss for the world.


This past weekend Bennett turned two. As the youngest (but not for long) of the Tinnin connection, he was thrilled to be front and center stage. The day at the park was pretty chilly, and we adults felt like Eskimos. Only those who were less than three feet tall seemed not to mind. The children who arrived bundled and covered, wasted little time shedding their coats and heading for the swings, the slide, and everything in sight that could be climbed on – whether it was a ladder, a fence, or a tree stump! They were oblivious to the temperature.

I always learn something from my grandchildren. Last week it was about focus and living in the moment. Bennett and his guests did not let the temperature distract them from their task which was, of course, to have a grand time and to eat as much birthday cake as they could possibly stuff in their little tummies.

As we approach Thanksgiving and Christmas, my hope and prayer for all of us is that we refuse to let the minor irritations, the time pressures, money pressures, and unexpected inconveniences rob us of meaningful moments with each other and with our Lord. May our moments of worship be just that – real worship and real intimacy with Him.

! Under Construction !

Sorry for the mess - Marilyn's life is under construction...


September 2, 2008

I know it doesn’t look like it from these pictures, but Charles and I are simplifying our lives. I keep praying that when I arrive at “Simple,” it doesn’t look a thing like these pictures.

Many of you know that when Charles and I said, “I do” last December 29, we decided we would figure out our living arrangements later. We each had a house to sell first. Then there came to pass this unpleasant real estate market which has kept us living like gypsies between houses for the past eight months. When mine sold and the buyer said something about being out in five days, I said, “No problem.” That is not the first time in my life I spoke without thinking. We had just started a remodeling project on his house two days earlier.

In the middle of sheetrock dust, wet paint and furniture stacked on furniture, we are climbing over all these boxes labeled with five children’s names, our names and generic categories like “Storage,” “Goodwill,” “Consignment,” and even “Need Advice with this one.” It occurs to me that we are actually staring at three-plus decades of life before each other. It has been almost like a history lesson for both of us as we have sorted through old photos, books, or personal treasures. Almost every item has a story, and – yes – we always stop to share them.

There have been some hard decisions on what to keep and what to let go. I have stared at some things for hours unable to make a decision. At the same time, I have suddenly been willing to part with things that I have moved from place to place or closet to closet for decades thinking I could never let them go. There is a spiritual lesson in this, believe it or not.

I have thought of the verse in Ecclesiastes through all of this, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.” I’ve also thought long and hard about God’s timing – it makes all the difference in the freedom of letting some things go.

Stay tuned – you are viewing the “before.” Wait till you see the after!

Reformed and Relaxed

August 1, 2008

I have found my new exercise regimen – went to my first Reformer Pilates class today at The Pilates Studio in Ridgeland. (I love the word “reformer.” Most of us could use some “reformation” from time to time.) Pilates, it seems, is about the fastest growing phenomenon in fitness today – having grown from 2000 participants to 10.6 million in just six years. Everybody who knows me knows that exercise is right up there with root canals and colonoscopies on my short list of dreaded experiences.

Christi, Kari, and I had a great work-out with instructor Kimberly. It was definitely real exercise, but when it was over, I was relaxed as well as energized. I had just realized a few weeks ago that busy gyms with blinking television sets, music, and noise were no longer comfortable to me. I also felt like my attention span was shrinking as the speed of life increased. At any rate, I have been deliberately trying to find a slower pace of life. I have even temporarily given up “Good Morning America” and “Fox News.” I just love it when something “clicks.” Pilates “clicked.” I am going to go back again soon, and I recommend it to you highly.

I have really slowed down my contact with technology in the last couple of weeks, and it has helped everything about me feel a lot better. I notice that it is easier to sense God’s presence and to hear His voice. It is as though I just got a new contact lens prescription!

If the thought of “technology abstinence….or slow withdrawal” appeals to you, try out these books. Great reads!

Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives by Richard A. Swenson

The Overload Syndrome: Learning to Live Within Your Limits by Richard A. Swenson and Richard A. Swenson M.D.